Monday, 24 May 2010

Intuition.....


The CED2010 theme in May is "Intuition". When I learned of this in April I was pleased because I knew it would coincide with changes work wise & I felt that my intuition needed to be involved in choosing my next path. My intuition was already telling me that for career & health reasons I needed to focus on my writing and other creative work.

Unfortunately May is nearly over and I feel that I haven't been following my intuition. In fact I seemed to have sabotaged myself at times. Why? Well, I've been thinking about this and I think it comes down to simple fear. I am scared of following my intuition. My intuition clearly advises me to get on with writing & creating. But the nagging voice of fear keeps telling me things like: 'why bother, you've got no talent, you'll never make any money at it & you'd be better off doing XYZ'

Nevertheless I have tried to follow my gut regardless of my reluctance. I've sang 'la la la' with my fingers in my ears (metaphorically speaking) when the fear taunts me. I've forced myself to my writing desk. I've cajoled myself to create a page in my art journal. I've snapped photos of scenes that have caught my attention. I've sat down at the piano & tried to lose myself in playing. The interesting and consistent result is that I always feel better after engaging in the creative activity that my intuition begs me to do. It seems that for some reason the things that are best for us are the very same things we avoid.

Although May is nearly over I am determined to bring "intuition" into everything I create. When I let go, do what feels right and lose myself in the act of creating - more often than not I have the best results. More importantly I feel a helluva lot better mentally & physically. Plus, I've gathered relevant experiences that will be useful to my current non-fiction writing project.

Please share your similar experiences. I'd love to read about them.

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Thursday, 13 May 2010

New beginnings....

We're back from a nine day stay with family & friends. Having celebrated two weddings, Birthdays & reunions - we had a lovely time.

The photo today is of the bouquet given to me at the second wedding for giving a speech. I was extremely nervous and trembling especially as the speech involved not only anecdotes but a fantasy fiction involving the couple and accompanied by a relevant soundtrack. Luckily it all seemed to go down very well - phew! There was laughter (at the right moments) & positive audience involvement. I was very glad when it was over so that I could enjoy the rest of the day & evening - both of which were immensely enjoyable once my nerves had disappeared.

Returning back to ordinary life & its troublesome realities is always hard but at least I do feel refreshed from our break. Tomorrow I formally end a work contract that has been dear to my heart. I feel some sadness but also relief as it became more stressful than I'd imagined.

So I find myself facing new beginnings. I plan to completely focus on my fiction & non-fiction projects as well as explore my creative practice experiment more fully. It is both nerve wracking & exciting at the same time. Change seems to bring with it fear, doubt, questions and apprehension. But it also brings with it a thrill of what could be. I am energised by the possibilities.

I hope you'll be here on this next stage of my journey - it helps to know there are other creative people out there facing similar creative challenges. Connecting with you all has helped me immensely. One wonderful person I recently made contact with via blogging is the lovely Ingrid who can be found at www.mypeacetree.blogspot.com . She sent me photos of her art work on the theme of 'change'. She also wrote me a thoughtful & inspirational letter. Coming back from our break I found her envelope made from historical American maps and posted from the USA. Its arrival and the contents were a wonderful welcome home & helped offer me strength to face the changes ahead. Thank you Ingrid!

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